The Argentine Art of Exaggeration and Land Mines!

My first few days of pounding the pavements in Buenos Aires were fraught with peril. The mean streets of BA, as the residents like to think of their city, definitely hold many dangers for the unsuspecting traveller, but not all are what you might imagine. Yes there is crime and all the usual suspects; pick pockets, bag snatchers and worse. However, in spite of all the poverty and human woe it is surprisingly safe. What I like to term the “Agentinean art of exaggeration” without a doubt can take some responsibility for this belief by the city dwellers. If it wasn’t safe the Argentinean habit of going for dinner after 10.00 pm would have been extinct along time ago.

The sheer volume of people moving around the streets of the capital late at night proves the relative safety of this crumbling city. culture is alive and well. If this was not the case the abundant small cafes and restaurants would likewise have closed their doors for good. Thankfully their twinkling lights and welcoming staff are ever present for the 11.00pm dinner sittings; the common time for Poteno’s ( native Buenos Aireans) to eat. While the trains finish at 11.00pm the public transport buses run 24 hours a day. Yes, the regularity is questionable in the early morning hours, however they do eventually turn up so you can get home.

Which brings me back to my early days in BA and my steps laden with perilous pitfalls. The culprit; Buenos Aires shocking (truly this is not an exaggeration) footpaths. Made of large concrete tiles that were hard to navigate for a number of reasons. I never quite got over the feeling I was picking my way through a field of land mines. Every time I stood on a wobbly paver I expected to hear a “click” as it is in the movies when someone stands on a pressure plate. You know very well it’s going to explode the minute they lift up their foot. In the case of the BA footpaths it’s spurting water from under those tiles that you have to watch out for. Sadly, the land mines left by the canine inhabitants are everywhere, as well as their pee. So when the tiles spurt water after the rain, it’s not just water you’re hit by. Then there are the holes. The only thing I will say about them is if you’ve ever seen photos of bombed roadways, pock marked by mortar shells in a war zone, then you won’t have trouble picturing BA’s footpaths.

Those early weeks spent wandering the city resulted in many evenings of pain because of the twisting torture my ankles and knees experienced. Then I noticed something remarkable, I leant to walk like an Argentine and this is a very particular skill. Buenos Aireans through necessity walk great distances to and from public transport, to work, to their homes and anywhere else in the city they need to go. So without learning this skill simply walking could be very dangerous for your health. How do you walk like an Argentine you may ask? Simple, you never fully plant your foot down completely when you take a step, being ready to quickly glide over a tile that shows any sign of movement. At the same time your vision is both directed to the distance and directly in front of your path. In this way you are also able to avoid falling into bomb craters or standing on land mines.

You would be right in thinking that the poor condition of the footpaths really limits the type of footwear the women of BA can safely wear and you wouldn’t be wrong. There are more joggers worn here than I have ever seen in my life. Having said that, we all know however, that women have a particular love for shoes and to deprive the female members of Buenos Aires citizenry of heels would be a crime.

This is where the Buenos Airean “art of exaggeration” saves the day. Let me introduce you to a unique Buenos Airean fashion trend, Frankenboots! These oversized platforms keep women raised above the the splashing water, while the soft rubbery sole minimises the impact of any smaller holes they may miss. The sky is the limit with these platforms. Just when you think you’ve seen the highest or most outlandish example, you notice a version that boggles your mind.

So while I walk the streets in my low open sandals, squealing inside everytime a splash of putrid water touches my skin, my Buenos Airean sisters glide around their city. Raised above the effluent and garbage, floating over boobie trapped thoroughfares with the agility of a gazelle wearing the shoes of a cart horse.






“Free wine and cheese for happy hour between 5.00 – 7.00pm, every night, really?” I gushed during check in at my exquisite new hotel, followed with ” I love Paris”, and so began the happiest five days of my trip. Honestly there is very little bad you can truly say about Paris, that’s why I have purposely separated last weeks blog from this one and yes I’m going to say it again Paris is amazing!









