Zesty Mumma's Words

A life lived without passion is a life half lived

Archive for the tag “ageing”

My Husband Wears Black – Not for the Reasons You May Imagine

My husband wears black.
Not because he is of Mediterranean descent.
Not because it’s a fashion statement.
I was always really grateful for this odd character quirk, mainly because he often tended to wear much of the food he was eating. Not that he was a particularly messy eater, its just that at some stage he always managed to drop something down his front.
I have found however it’s really important  not to set yourself on too high a pedestal because as fate would have it, life often drops everything straight back in your lap, literally.
Craig and I were getting ready for a wedding and I had laid out for him his cloths, this included the beautiful new white shirt I had just bought for him.
He took one look at it and with all the wisdom of the ages stated, “it’s white, what happens when I spill my dinner on it” Some would call him a pessimist I choose to think of him as a realist.
I consider myself to be of reasonable intellect and despite all previous experience with Craig and clothes and food, all put together, for some unknown reason this question had not entered my mind. May be it was the optimism of the day, could there be a better time for it than a wedding?
We didn’t have a choice, the wedding was at four, it was three o’clock already and the trip took an hour.
There was only one thing to do, throw caution to the wind and take our chances with the white shirt.
I needn’t really to have worried, as it turned out it’s the brown shoe polish you have to watch out for.
Sitting in the car waiting to leave I heard Craigs voice float down to me from the verandah, “Does brown boot polish come out.” Instantly I felt the blood drain from my face. My dream of turning up with the tall, dark haired stranger (we didn’t know many of the invitees) in the crisp, snow white shirt were evaporating by the second.
The brown shoe polish stain dissolved remarkably well in water and the soaked front of the shirt was nearly dry by the time we entered the wedding venue.
I needn’t have worried, Craig said he would drive, so the only liquid that passed his lips was water. Then after the first hor’d’ erve he informed me he had a virus and felt like dying so that was the end of food for him.
No worries, I didn’t let the side down. A huge piece of spicy red sauce landed down my right side and spattered all over the front of my pale pastel dress.
I’m now considering how we would look in his and hers matching black.
Yay team goth.

Expect the Unexpected and You May Be Pleasantly Surprised

 

 

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Have you ever had an unexpected year, a year when nothing proceeds the way you would have thought it would, let alone planned. The year I left my husband and found myself living in a two bedroom flat looking after two grade 12 students, only one of whom was my child, was my surprising year. I spent most of the time fighting tooth and nail to make two  teenagers pass grade 12 , when neither of them really cared that much. Dragging my child out of the surf and the other one out of her bed cause she “just had to sleep a bit longer,” was my usual scenario. I felt like a sergeant major directing traffic, one to Maroochydore High and the other to Mountain Creek. That definitely wasn’t what I expected when the clock struck twelve on 31st December the previous year.

The day after I moved into the flat in Alexandra Headland I walked to the top of Pacific terrace. The view was amazing, the sunlight sparkled on the water and there was barely a breath of wind.  I sat down to contemplate exactly what I was going to do.

I was 40 something and single, after trying desperately to revive something that I should have left dead and buried, retrenched from my job and at that stage neither of my children were living with me. The situation could have seemed quite bleak, I had left all my furniture with my ex,  lent money to someone maxing out my credit card at the same time and I was broke. Sitting on top of that hill, taking in the view on that spectacular autumn morning, I thought to myself, I can either become bitter and twisted or make this an adventure. I’ll tell you later what I chose.

I got  a job at a local seafood shop, not really very glamorous, but if you have ever tried to find a job when you are over forty you will understand. There was method in my madness though, I had partly applied for this particular job because I knew how physically demanding it could be. At the end of grade 12  I had worked the summer holidays in a fish shop so I knew what I was getting myself in for. I had lost my peace in the last ten years of my marriage and I really needed to rest my mind. After years of office work I thought it was a good way to begin my reinvention.

So there I was shovelling boxes of fish, prawns and ice, in and out of cabinets, I didn’t have the time to sink into the bitter and twisted mind set that I was trying to avoid. I did learn to appreciate the little things. To this day nothing gives me more pleasure than to sit down on a hot summer night with a dozen natural oysters, sprinkled with salt, pepper and lemon juice, on a bed of ice, a can of dark and stormy in my hand, watching the Gilmore girls. Oh the unequalled bliss of it all.

So I rode my pushbike to work every morning, up and over the Alex bluff, sunlight dancing on the water, my mind sorting through all the sludge of the past twenty years, defragging as I went. Early on New Years Eve morning, as the year drew to a close, I was making my way through Mooloolaba.  Riding in the middle of the road as I approached a narrow section near the “Loo with a View,” a racing bike attempted to flash past me. The problem was I had a string bag hanging off my handlebars and his handlebars became tangled in it. As anyone would I came to a complete stop planting my feet firmly on the ground as I felt my bike being pulled by the other bike. Unfortunately for that rider it caused his bike to also come to a full stop, he and his bike then hurtled to the bitumen. I saw the whole thing happen in slow motion, unable to do anything to stop it. I watched his thankfully helmeted head smash into the curb and he lay there with his expensive bike resting on top of him.

I felt so bad ….. really, really bad …. until he started to scream at me.
“You bloody idiot, you moved to the side, you bloody idiot” over and over again. I tried to apologise in a soft consoling voice, but he went on and on. Now I’ve been screamed at by the best of them and the more he screamed, the more defensive I became. In the end enough was enough and I stood over him, hands on hips, waggling my finger and stamping my foot like I was scolding a naughty child. “You listen here” I said in my best school marm voice, “It was an accident and you’re very rude and don’t you ever call anyone a BLOODY IDIOT again”

And that’s when I saw it, I wish I hadn’t, I couldn’t believe it. The bloke lying on the ground, hurling abuse at me, was missing a foot. It was like a scene from a bad Monty Python movie, It was awful, Excruciatingly unexpected.

I do want to assure you that he didn’t lose it when he fell of the bike, I just hadn’t noticed it before.

The missing foot made me feel even more incredibly bad than I already did. I probably should have stayed; however, his behaviour, which I am sure was just shock on his part, had made me so angry that I got on my bike and rode off into the sunrise. I then spent the whole of the day in fear that I’d get a visit from the police to cart me off; cause there emblazoned on my tea shirt was the name of my employer, a well known seafood supplier.

Since then many unexpected things have happened, amazing jobs. I worked for a now defunct Childcare Company as an event coordinator. They flew me all over the countryside. I had one trip to Tasmania to open a couple of centres where I only worked for 8 hours the entire five nights I was away and they paid for it, car, fuel, accommodation, meals, amazing. I do sometimes feel that I may have contributed to the financial demise they eventually experienced.

I’ve even been known to wear a purple bear suit when there was a need, now that is another story. I have travelled to many other destinations, that I actually paid for. I have a peace I didn’t have in my marriage and I am unbelievably happy.

So I guess you know which choice I made! Honestly sometimes it is just that simply, you have to choose. Who would have thought, very unexpected!

Football, Meat Pies, Kangaroos and Holden Cars – One of these things could have made you a millionaire

 

 

 

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Football (that’s Aussie Rules)

meat pies & kangaroos (can be interchangeable with meat pies – it all depends on what price you pay)

Holden cars (previously Australian manufactured car – the company was bought by General Motors, destroyed and is no more).

Sorry just had explain a few things for all of you who would probably wonder what on earth I am talking about.

Football, meat pies, kangaroos and Holden cars all  iconically Australian and in many ways linked in our collective memories . Why am I including these in my Monday Morsels you ask? Because it is winter and cold and definitely meat pie weather. Thats the image you see at the top of the page, actually it was my lunch.

The rest of the world doesn’t know what they are missing out on. Not that I really turn to the humble meat pie on a regular occasion, I probably only eat them a couple of times a year (or if I am holiday in New Zealand as our Kiwi neighbours make particularly tasty versions). It’s like having a nice warm security blanket, you don’t want to carry it around with you, it’s just nice to know it is there if you want it.

Most Australian children begin their pie eating experiences as kindergarten students making their first tuck shop purchases. This inevitably results in tomato sauce stains running down the front of their school uniform, a little treat for later on some would say.

These pies were made of a sloppy mix of minced beef (well you always hoped it was beef but you never really knew for sure that it wasn’t Kangaroo, especially at the footy) and dark gravy. The casing was not always the best quality pastry, usually sporting a crispy top and a soggy bottom. Sloppy and messy but oh so good on a cold winters day.

The version I have posted is actually a lamb and sweet chilli pie with a fantastic butter pastry. A far cry from my school days and extremely satisfying.

Now here is the little mind boggling fact that is the main reason I am rambling. Forty years ago a meat pie at a school tuck shop cost twenty cents. The pie I bought today, exactly the same size, with the same amount of meat cost $4.80. I will save your brains and tell you it is a 2400% price rise.

That’s mind blowing.

I say Forget investing in Apple or BP Petroleum or even Gold. Where were the financial advisers who saw that coming, definitely missed that boat to financial freedom!

Friday Night Music Festivals – Take it Away Mr. Neil Young.

“Heart of Gold”, what does that mean to you? Probably not a lot if you are under thirty five, but for me it was like a revelation. I have heard people speak about how they felt when they first heard the Beetles. Well I have never had that reverential feeling about them. Don’t get me wrong I definitely recognise the incredible talent that is John Lennon and co, maybe I was just too young.

Which brings me back to Mr Young, Neil Young, the master songwriter. I can still remember the first time I heard that song. I was walking down the corridor at my school on my way to lunch. It was as if the pied piper had called me. I had no will, I had to follow the siren song and find out who was singing. The awe I felt at that moment has never subsided.

I love music, I am eclectic and love finding new Indie artists but Mr Young still does it for me. At the moment I am listening to Harvest, it is Friday night and the CD is cranking. I do this same thing a few times every year for the past thirty years, I call it my Neil Young Friday Night Festival.

Good music speaks to your heart, it doesn’t matter if you feel the same way about the Smashing Pumpkins or maybe you remember the first time you heard Pearl Jam, your heart is involved and it is a beautiful thing. Suddenly you have a sound track to your life and it won’t matter what point you are in your life, you will always have that. It will help you soar and it will cradle you when you are sad.

As I finish this first little post the Friday Night Music Festival is winding up. – Take it Away Mr. Neil Young

The guitar solo in” Words (between the lines of age”  has just reached a crescendo so I feel it is appropriate I finish here and return to my listening. Enjoy your Friday night, where ever in the world you are. Whether you have returned home from a long hard day at work. Or you have finally gotten the kids to sleep after an equally punishing day. Relax, crank up the music and let the sound track of your life take you away to another place, if ever so briefly, it can do you the world of good.

Zesty Salmon Vegetable Salsa

I usually have a busy Monday. Since I took this year off to finish the novel I have been writing   I only work a couple of days a week, Monday being one of them. It is late when I get home and at the moment it is winter in the Southern Hemisphere so it is cold. I usually need to make a meal in a  hurry before I reach for the energy laden junk food.

I am about to give you one of the quickest meals you will ever make. The best part is that it is also one of the most amazing in flavour and also very healthy.  It is so simple I won’t even give you a traditional recipe.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED  – Sweet Potato or Pumpkin, a mixture of green vegetables (my usual – Broccoli, Zucchini, Peas), chunky fillet of smoked Salmon – not sliced  (I usually use about a 90gram piece for 1 person), Lime, Salt and Pepper, Coconut Oil and fresh basil to garnish.

KITCHEN UTENSILS – 1 saucepan and lid, strainer , Citrus squeezer

FIRSTLY –  Fill a saucepan and boil some water. While you are waiting for the water to boil, peel and slice the sweet potato and /or pumpkin into cubes. Carefully drop them into the water. Continue chopping any other vegetables you are using in to bite size pieces (not too small). Turn off the hot plate immediately (leaving the saucepan on the hotplate) and drop the rest of the vegetables into the still simmering water.   Squeeze the lime into a small jug.

The veggies only need a couple of minutes sitting in the water and can now be drained.  Once they are drained drop them into a bowl then crumble the salmon through the vegetables. Add the Salt, Pepper, Lime Juice, Coconut Oil and Basil. All you need to do then is turn it all through a couple of times and serve.

Voila, this is amazing and takes under 10 minutes to make, Enjoy !

 

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Touring New Zealand – Expect Visual Overload

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New Zealand is an amazing place, most of the time it is simply an assault on the senses.  Visual overload goes with out saying, I find myself literally gasping at every bend in the road.

The waters of Marlborough sound, so deep and pure rush past the ferry as it makes it’s way to Picton. The hills that form the sides of the Sounds stand steep and tall, like the buttress walls of a fortress, and race at an astonishing gradient down to the water. Snuggly nestled in the little bays that line the shore are picturesque homes, ready fuel for your imagination. What would it be like to get your mail or go shopping by boat? What do you do if you run out of milk, no 711 round the corner?

Picton is a lovely town and perfect entry point to New Zealand’s South Island, with a great “I Site” (tourist information centre) close to the ferry terminal.   There are many good eateries in and around the main street, and you should take the time to refresh, check your petrol and map before heading out of town.

Most tourist keep moving but there is of course an excellent range of accommodation in Picton for anyone wanting to explore the Sound.

It’s really important to remember that although New Zealand may only be a small country with relatively short distances between destinations that doesn’t mean the your trip will be quick. The steep nature of the country and windy roads can double and sometimes even triple the time it normal takes to cover the same distance on a straight road. Having said that, the roads generally aren’t congested and driving is quite relaxing, except when you get stuck behind a convoy of camper vans heading up a mountain pass.

Helpful Hints

* I always travel by hired car when I tour  NZ. Their government requires vehicles to have safety checks every six months, therefore, even the cheapest of hire cars are well maintained. So don’t feel you need to go up market.

* If you pre- order your ferry tickets from the Inter Islander you get a significant discount

*Bring (or buy from an op shop) a thermos, always important to have access to warm drinks in a cold country. Also from the op shop find some cutlery & crockery. Another good thing to pick up is a blanket, you never know when the weather may change.

* A $3.00 insulated bag from Countdown (NZ supermarket chain) will mean you can carry milk and any other food Item that may need to be kept cool.

Next – On to Nelson and Golden Bay

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Hard Work isn’t a dirty word, it’s a Necessity For Success

Yesterday I had to prepare a submission for a business owner. She was asked to speak about what she felt were the key elements of her success . I know this person very well and am one a small group who have seen how hard she has worked to achieve success.

Below is the list I prepared for this submission.

*          Vision  – You need to see where you are going to be able to make a choice of which path to take.

*          Passion – Loving what you do is vital cause it is going to get hard sometimes and only love will keep you going.

*          Respect – For your customers, Staff and suppliers cause you’re not alone on this journey.

*          Innovation – to be the best at what you do you have to be a leader not a follower. Striving to be ahead of the pack gets you noticed.

*          Tenacity – Last on this list but it may be the most important.  There are days when you will be barely hanging by the skin of you  teeth. You will need all the will you can muster just to lift your head off the pillow some morning’s. Tenacity is vital cause you’ll have to fight tooth and nail to make a go of it.

There have been times when I have honestly wondered how she survived but no matter what or how she was feeling she just kept going.

Which brings me to my point. Up until recently there has a trend that goes something like this. “tell a child they can be anything they want to be and the they will succeed.”

Really?

What about working hard, Is it a dirty word?

Success ALMOST never just happens. I am not just talking about your working life either, hard work is needed in every facet of your life.

Signs of Ageing No. 2 – Vanishing Car Keys

If Jimmy Barnes doing a Telstra Ad was my number 1 sign of getting old, I now have number 2.

Yesterday was a bad day, not going into detail but lets just move on. I parked my car under the carport, thinking for a brief moment that it would be terrible if I misplaced my key’s as then I wouldn’t be able to move it. That would mean Claire couldn’t get her car out and she couldn’t go to work.  I opened the door of my house with the keys and voilà, that’s the last I saw of them.

Not that I realised that it would be the last I saw them. This only happened about the time I wanted to move the car. That was about half an hour before I knew Claire would be wanting to leave.

As the panic set in I thankfully employed one the best aspects of maturity, ingenuity. I had actually angle the car so that even with a locked steering wheel the car would roll straight into the opened garage. So I knocked the car out of gear, took the hand break off and began pushing it toward the garage.  Just couldn’t get it over the last little bit of concrete to get it inside. I was really hoping that I could get the car all the way in before I had to admit why I had to move it manually.

Anyway, it’s raining today and my keys are nowhere to be seen. My little walk to work in the sunshine is not going to be quite as sunny as I had imagined.

Can’t wait for the next sign of aging, I’ll keep you posted.

Use Your Head or Loose It, Just Ask Anne Boleyn

What was the best time of your life? Most of us remember our teenage years with great fondness. Somehow we can easily dismiss the insecurities and uncertainties we felt at that time, instead remembering it as a golden age. A smorgasbord of choice, one of endless possibilities and unlimited opportunities.

 

Why do I bring this up, the “70’s Show” that’s why. Set in an era that I have to begrudgingly admit I remember well. I know that it’s highly exaggerated and of course they are much more confident than most normal teenagers ever could be but I just can’t help liking it. As a social commentary on the time it’s probably not the first point of reference. However, I recently watched an old episode that contained a much deeper and age defying truth than expected.

 

In that particular episode we see Jackie upset because Kelso has ruined her birthday party by turning it into a drunken teenage binge instead of the sophisticated dinner party she had planned. When quizzed about her vision for the future she admits that in her dream she saw Kelso as a witty, successful business man in a dinner suit entertaining their equally successful rich and urbane friends. My first response to that revelation was “has she never met her boyfriend”.

 

Then I thought about the truth of how the female brain works. When we look at something we don’t see the reality of what it is, we see the image of what we think it could be. This quality can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. It’s this quality that helps you look at the drawing your four year old son has done on the lounge room wall and imagine him to be the next Rembrandt. This is a beautiful fact but if we are honest, it is the same reason that a woman can look at a figure hugging body con dress and think we’d look great in it. You aren’t seeing it on yourself, you are actually seeing it on Eva Mendes body, topped with your head, am I right?

 

We women don’t always see reality when looking at people we care about, rather, we see what a person could be. The boyfriend that doesn’t turn up for a date because his mates talked him into going to the pub with them, would never leave you sitting at home with two kids on a Friday night while he goes out with the same mates, right? This is admirable but it is a trait that has seriously lead women into trouble for millenniums.  When the smorgasbord of live is being rolled out instead of just looking at the possibilities and opportunities maybe if we are taught to see realities as well it might go some way to help.

 

Just ask Anne Boleyn, she absolutely thought that Henry VIII would be so enamoured by her that he would be faithful and love her only. She definitely wasn’t using her head, possibly why she lost it.

 

Watermarks

We are the product of all who have gone before us. Have you ever thought about things that way? In a world where some people don’t even know their own grandparents, I wonder how many of us have ever really considered the people who went before them.

When you have children you look upon the tiny infant as a clean page, ready for the life experiences that will mould them into the person they will become. As the child grows it sometimes displays traits that you may have seen in Grandma Rose or uncle Ted and you realise that rather than a totally clean page there are imprints and watermarks that you may not have noticed initially.

I’ve never known any relatives, I don’t know who’s traits, good or bad, I have received. I was Five when we came to Australia and I haven’t been back. When I was given a stack of birth, death and marriage certificates from my maternal grandmothers family, it was the first time I had any information about any family members further away than my grandparents. My mothers disjointed postcard sent to my during a trip to England alerted me to their existence. It read in part “…….lots of family history to bring back, very exciting.” and I have to admit I did dream, if ever so briefly, of blue blood running through my veins. The oldest of these documents was dated at seventeen eighty five which was three years before the first fleet arrived in Australia. Your instant reaction might be to ask was there anyone rich or well known amongst ancesters, sadly no.

What I found instead was ordinary people, living ordinary lives. Policeman, miners, signal men, ambulance drivers, even something called a maltster, which seemed to appeal to most of the men I have spoken to. They were all literate and educated.

As I followed the men through history; however, it was the women that touched me. There was little information about them other than their age and date of birth, marriage or death (which unfortunately for most was very young). What stood out glaringly however, was that each one, up until my maternal grandmother, was illiterate.

Mary Hobson, Jane Graydon, Sarah Wells and Mary Jane Grant, could only leave their mark, a cross on a page. In some of their cases, only a wobbly mark at that, so unfamiliar were they with the use of writing tools.

Poor, illiterate women, not even taught to sign their own name. I couldn’t help but consider the fate of women through out history. Repressed and suppressed by lack of education as they have been and in many countries still are, having little power over their own lives.

The more I pondered their lives they became real people to me and I could almost picture them. Strangely a sense of obligation descended upon me. I owed something to these women. I have had education and I have had choices. I don’t know what that something is just yet. It may only be that I ensure no daughter or grand daughter of mine ever be uneducated.

We live in a time when so much is taken for granted sometimes it is good for us to peer into history to see just how far we have come.

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